Pattaya City in the Gulf of Thailand some 160 kilometres southeast of central Bangkok.  Situated in the province of Chonburi, it is only a 90 minute drive along the motorway from Bangkok’s Suvarnabhumi Airport.

Wherever you may travel in the world, there is nowhere like Pattaya.  It may be located in Thailand, but it is not typical of Thailand.  Outwardly, it may have the appearance of being European or American, but it is not.  Pattaya is a confluence of cultures, both East and West, Thai and non-Thai.  It would be a mistake for visitors to judge the place by its appearance and an even greater error to judge the Thai people by what they see and hear during a short holiday in the resort.

Promoted as a world-class resort, the physical appearance of Pattaya is constantly changing.  Over the last few years, new luxury hotels, apartment blocks and businesses have been springing up at a remarkable pace.  The city’s income is derived almost exclusively from tourism.  In terms of the nationalities of tourist arrivals in Thailand (no figures available specifically for Pattaya), Asians from Japan, Malaysia, Taiwan, China, Singapore, Hong Kong and South Korea take the top spots.  From the West, visitors from the United Kingdom and the United States of America arrive in almost equal numbers while those from Germany and Scandinavia are the next most populous groups.

Included among these visitors are millions of ‘high-class’ tourists arriving with their friends or families for a wholesome vacation.  Improving Pattaya’s international image by promoting the resort as a family destination and a ‘complete’ holiday for all has not been a waste of time.  Families, couples and unattached foreign women do come here and the majority have a very enjoyable time.  Many opt for accommodation in the quieter areas of Jomtien or Naklua but even those who stay in the centre of Pattaya could spend a week or more without exposure to the type of activities for which Pattaya is more famous.  Even if they do interact with the bars, unlike the bar scene in other parts of the world, the meritorious Hostesses of Pattaya’s adult entertainment areas treat foreign women incredibly well and, as for children, Thai girls are crazy about them.  The Hostesses will play with them, keep them amused, dote over them and generally take better care of them than professional baby-sitters.  The kids have a great time.

There are also visitors, not exclusively male, who come to partake in the style of entertainment and partying at which Pattaya excels.  Those who come here specifically for the nightlife find themselves with plenty to occupy their time.  Once the sun sets, a full spectrum of delights awaits them, adapted to suit everyone from the shy first-timer to the guy who knows ‘Sleazy’ was not just the name of the eighth dwarf.  To anyone who has never been here and seen the place for themselves, it is almost impossible to describe.  With truth and logic the early casualties, the reality is that here, single foreign men are no longer the predator but the quarry, no longer the hunter but the hunted.  Recounting Pattaya exploits to the uninitiated back home loses its thrill when continually met with looks of disbelief.

The weather is always perfect in Thailand.  Visitors used to colder climates may be forgiven for assuming that between May and November it is very hot and wet.  The truth is the warm glow covering the perfect landscape is occasionally broken by gentle raindrops falling to earth like petals to enrich the fertile soil.  This is called the ‘low season’ because there are fewer tourists about and business is not as active.  Airfares to Thailand are usually lower, the already very affordable accommodation is plentiful, and room rates are cheaper.

From December to April, called the ‘high season’, it is pleasantly hot and dry although December can be refreshingly cool, especially around Christmas.  There are many more tourist arrivals, escaping the cold in their home countries, and hotels are often heavily booked.  If you plan to be here during this period, ensure that you book a room well in advance and reconfirm your booking before leaving home.  Veteran travellers are aware that in every country in the world, some hotel managers have the annoying habit of double-booking or forgetting.

For most single men, especially those whose passions extend no further than nocturnal activities, any time is a good time to come to Pattaya.  The population of charming hostesses expands and contracts in proportion to the number of tourists so many men prefer to be in Pattaya during the low season when it is not so crowded.  Bars and places of entertainment often heavily discount their prices to attract the fewer customers and even the breathtaking hostesses are vulnerable to a bit of bargaining.

Why should you come for a holiday to Pattaya?  Interesting question, but one with a very simple answer.  If you answer ‘yes’ to any one of the following questions, you would most benefit from a trip to Pattaya.

Are you recently divorced and at a loss what to do with the miniscule amount of money you were left after the divorce settlement?

Have you just discovered your children are plotting to have you certified legally incompetent so they can get Power of Attorney over your assets?

Have you won a lot of money and don’t know how to spend it?

Is the only female companionship currently available to you over 200 pounds and over 60, with a face like a sack of prunes and an attitude to match?

Are you constantly being told you are too old, fat or ugly?

Have the feminists and moralists controlling your country reduced your ego to zero and your self-confidence to somewhere below that?

Are you non-judgmental?  Do you have an open mind?  Do you accept people for what they are without criticizing those you don’t completely understand?

For the foreigner (normally written as ‘farang’), Pattaya can be a cheap holiday or an expensive one.  With a limited budget, you can still enjoy yourself if you know what you are doing.  With $s to throw around, you will have the time of your life.  Some people come here for a ten-day vacation carrying a seemingly endless supply of cash and harboring a pressing desire to throw it all away as quickly as possible.  There is no shortage of people eager to accept their money but when you ask these people later what they thought of the free-spending foreigner, some politely suggest he should have been a little more careful with his disbursements.  Actually, the term used is “stupid farang!”

And Pattaya is such a fun and exciting town it can be addictive - more addictive than nicotine or alcohol.  A sentiment shared by thousands of foreign visitors is that the departure lounge at Bangkok airport is one of the most depressing places in the world.  One guy actually confessed he was in tears as he boarded the plane home.  Sitting in that departure lounge, the withdrawal symptoms can be acute once you realize there is no turning back - you must get on the plane.  But ‘reality’ and the ‘real world’ will never be the same again.  Suddenly, the weather back home seems exceptionally cold, wet and miserable.  Suddenly, the girl in the office or the local pub, the one you have been trying to chat up for the last six months, is not as pretty as you previously thought.